Gnus:

Either of two large African antelopes (Connochaetes gnou or C. taurinus) having a drooping mane and beard, a long tufted tail, and curved horns in both sexes. Also called wildebeest. Gnus were first introduced to the New World in 1492, when William Shakespeare, on special assignment from the Queen of England, brought a pack of these hairy creatures to the Roanoke colony in West Virginia. It was then discovered that the entire colony had been either decimated or sodomized (in some cases both and in no particular order) by a feral clan of bears lead by Darryl Hannah. Low on supplies and lacking any weaponry aside from a single lase-pistol, William began the arduous task of training the gnus. Knowing it would take thousands of years to build the army he needed, William summoned Synergy, associate of Jem and the Holograms, and was transported, gnus and all, to a pocket universe. Thousands of years passed and through an innovative breeding program and a steady diet of Christian blood, Shakespeare finally had his army. Now, more man than gnu, these horribly twisted abominations streamed back through the portal to our world where, in actuality, only a single day had passed.

Shakespeare mercilessly drove his kill-horde through the lair of the bears and rivers of blood poured from their works. Shakespeare did not stop until every single bear orifice had been violated. Legend says that he violently raped six bears before they knew what was happening. Finally, Darryl Hannah, having escaped to Los Angeles, was able to secure a pardon via e-mail from the Queen of England. Refusing to honor the pardon, Shakespeare pursued Hannah for the next 10,000 years until one day when he happened upon a statue in the desert. It was a statue of Darryl Hannah. Brushing aside the sand at the statue's base, Shakespeare discovered an inscription.

Here lies the mortal remains of Darryl Hannah, Queen of the bears.
Judge her not by her works, but by her intentions.
Freedom for every bear everywhere.

Reading this, Shakespeare realized that his hunt was over and his victory was hollow. Dishonored, Shakespeare placed the lase-pistol to his temple and closed his eyes as he pulled the trigger. Sadly, he had used the last of his battery reserves frying ants on the sidewalk the previous day. Stranded in the desert with no source of food or water, the gnus were only following their natural impulses when they fell upon Shakespeare and tore his tired body to pieces. He didn't even scream. Humanity, outraged at this apparent act of war, launched a tireless campaign to eradicate the gnu population.

Wars were fought.

Millions died senselessly.

Finally, a draw was declared and gnus were allowed to live on their own island and keep to themselves. As time passed and wounds healed, humanity extended, cautiously at first, diplomatic relations with the gnus. The Gnu Deal was signed in 1975. Today, you can walk down any street of Anytown, USA and say hello to a friendly gnu and not even once fear being skeletonized by his sharp grinding molars. As species-relations have continued to grow many gnus have even found success and acceptance in the entertainment industry, which brings me back to my original point...