Good times.
Good food.
Good booze.
Well... booze anyway...
Little did I know it would turn out to be an adventure of the grotesque so horrifying not even I would live to tell the tale!!!
So Thursday night My buddy Gabe and I jumped on a quad and went tear-assing around the woods. As Dale will not fail to remind you, his property sits on the second highest point in the lower peninsula. Is this true? I dunno. It is high on a hill though. Anyway, as we passed through a clearing I noticed something off to my right. As I was riding bitch I
The moon was full and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. However, even with all this light, whatever I'd seen under the shadow of several trees. I asked Gabe to turn his headlamp towards the dark clump and was rewarded with a strange combination of shapes that felt familiar but, lacking context, were nearly foreign to me. Certainly it was a large metal column. And wires. And a....basket of some sort.
"Holy shit!" says I, "It's a fucking ski lift!"
"Is it?" Gabe asks
He casts his head around the base of the post and sure enough, there are more ski chairs that have fallen from their wire. The lift is in a state of severe disrepair. How long has this sat here in the woods as a secret?
Gabe starts the quad again and drives us on a bit further, stopping at the edge of a cliff. We climb off the quad and admire the view. Then, Gabe points to something in the valley below.
"What's that?" he asks.
I look.
"Holy shit it's a fucking ski lodge! For the goddamned ski lift!"
At this point Gabe reveals that he's been messing with me and that he'd known it was there all along.
Ass.
At any rate, later that night a few of us returned to the ski lodge and walked through the open front doors. The stuff horror movies are made of.
Good times.
We returned the next night after midnight as the rest of our group had come to camp finally. This time we were armed with cameras more headlamps. I'm still waiting for pictures from the others, but here's what my crappy little disposable Fuji (with flash, 800 speed) captured. Don't even get me started on how bummed I was that I didn't bring my camcorder.
The Black Lodge! In which we approach the Hellmaw!
Abandon All Hope! In which our group enters the bowels of Hell itself!
The Last Chance! In which a lone longing gaze is cast back towards the open door... the last hope for sanity and safety!
The Haunted Fireplace! In which your soul is roasted lightly with a mango salsa!
The Haunted Desk! In which numerous ghostly accountings and filings have been witnessed!
The Haunted Dining Room! In which we see the Haunted Buffet!
The Haunted Kitchen! In which the food is cooked. The food of ghosts!
The Haunted Cooler! In which the food of ghosts is kept. Also: lettuce!
THe Haunted Sink! In which... Actually, it's a pretty nice sink!
The Haunted Store Room! In which things are stored! Haunted things!
The Haunted Zombie! In which braaaaaains!
The Haunted Ice Chest! In which your soul will freeze for eternity! After being roasted, of course.
The Haunted Wine Cellar! In which not even ghosts will drink Kelly's Boone's Farm wine!
The Haunted Piss! In which German people masturbate... In terror!
The Haunted Deadfall! In which... Actually, this is a closet whose floor has fallen through straight down several floors and over the years an accumulation of wood and other garbage has built up. Tim almost fell in when he was backing out of a room. That was genuinely a scary moment. The lesson here, kids, is don't trespass alone. Use the buddy system!
The Haunted Room! In which... A GHOST!
The Other Haunted Room! In which lies the bed of doom!
The Haunted AC Unit! In which the damned get unseasonably warm!
The Haunted Bloodstain! Blood!
The Haunted Bathroom! In which we find the Potpourri Sachet...of Death!
The Haunted Glass Shards! In which shards of glass are flung into the drywall... of pain!
The Haunted Hallway! In which our group is cursed to wander for all eternity!
Uh... Guys? In which the photographer shits himself!
